Who was that woman in the motel room? The one who felt alone and hopeless, the one who was so scared for her unknown future? Could that have been me? I think it was, but the memory is fading…buried beneath a mound of new life, behind a fog of happiness.
I finished my first week of school with an “A” on my first test, and a new, broader vision of my future. It has been a struggle to settle into the new routine, but even the exhaustion I feel is “good”!
I am loving my class and coming home to do homework every night. I thought that the introductory part of the program would be boring, but I am learning so much every day. I wake each morning excited and happy to have my tea and dress for class. It’s too cool.
I am also starting classes at the end of February to take my GED! Yes, fifty-four years young and finally going to get my high school diploma. With that in hand and my new computer skills, my job prospects will be multiplied a hundred times over. I am also looking into some business courses at the community college.
Did I really just write that? When I first got my housing and started job hunting, all I really wanted was to get back in retail…get just a “regular” job. Now, since starting these new learning programs I am actually thinking I want a career. I want to do something that stimulates me, that makes me as anxious and excited about my work as I have been about going to school. Look out world! No stopping me now!
I’d forgotten how much I loved learning.
I’ve decided I want to become an Administrative Assistant, with added training in Accounting etc. to prepare me for whatever company I may approach for employment. I enjoy typing and organizing, and look forward to learning Word and Excel in my present class.
The future is bright and wide here in “Kimville”…I never dreamed it could be this way.
Peace, Love and Hugs!
My first day of school was so great! I love my instructor and my classmates, and I was so into just being in a learning environment again. I had thought that the “basics” would be totally boring, but alas, like any good scholar (who has a good teacher), I came away knowing things I hadn’t when I walked into class. I never thought I would be back in school at 54 years old! I’m so grateful I got this opportunity.
I even stayed after class and put in some of my mandatory lab time…I just didn’t want to leave!
Anyway…When I was finally able to tear myself away from my desk…I got in my car, opened the sun roof and cranked up the tunes. The sun was beaming down on my face…the breeze, with just a touch of salt, was wafting through the car…It was pure joy.
I turned down Fourth Street and passed through my old neighborhood…taking me past the house that is no longer mine, with the husband and dogs that are no longer there, past my old life…and you know what? I did not feel a bit of regret! Nope, not one bit. You know why? Because as I drove past all I thought of was the lonely, sad, defeated, hopeless woman who used to live there…and she is no longer there…Nope. Here she was, driving home from school, heading to her new apartment…THIS IS MY LIFE! Oh my gosh…I can’t really convey on the page what this felt like… I started to tear up with joy.
I mean, just a little over six months ago I was sitting in that house alone and scared. My husband had just left that day, and I had taken my sweet dogs to the shelter. I got back to that little house that last day, scared and not knowing what was to come. I didn’t know what I would do with all the belongings in that house. I had no idea where I would go two days later when the eviction notice took effect. I sat down and decided to order Chinese food…I mean, come on…it’s not like the $20 was going to get me a place to stay, right? I was beyond exhausted by all the loss, pain and worry. I decided for just that night to eat Chinese food and watch my favorite shows in my little house one last time. I decided to just “be”.
As I finished what I now refer to as “The Last Supper Before Homeless”…I took the fortune cookie in my hand and prayed…I prayed for everything I had lost, and everything that I knew nothing about…where I would go, where would I live, what would happen to me along the way?…When I finished praying, I opened the cookie and this is what I found…
I had no idea at that point what my future would bring, or all that I would have to face…but, it was that little ray of hope I needed to just keep going, to take the next step…So, I took that little fortune and taped it to the front of my laptop…it is still there. And look where I am now.
I would never have imagined that all that loss would turn into all this gain, all this happiness, and honestly, there are still five months left to this “current year”. Who knows what else in in store? Now that I have made it over all the loss…survived being homeless, gotten a wonderful new place to live, new friends who care so much about me…and now, a chance to go to school…I am sitting here tonight in what can only be called “BLISS”. I have more than enough food, enough love, safety, warmth…and best of all…more hope than ever before. What can I say…I am blessed.
Okay, so the title is a bit misleading. I am NOT going to Harvard, but I did get accepted to take part in the Star Foundation’s Employment Training program. I am going back to school! It is an eight week course that focuses on computer skills and training to help in obtaining employment. I am so excited!
The program only accepts 24 students per quarter, so I was truly blessed to be accepted. It is just another step toward independence and the creation of my new life.
The training includes Word and Excel, which is why I signed up. With those programs under my belt, my employment possibilities will be greater.
In other news…I had some blood work done a while back and found out that I have diabetes. Blah. I’m not really surprised as it runs in my family, but dang, I was hoping it would skip me. Nevertheless, I have it. Now to find a doctor or clinic I can afford to see. I can manage it pretty well on my own for now, but it’s scary. Luckily I have at least the basics to monitor my glucose levels.
Well, I guess that is it for now! Things are moving forward and the future is bright with possibilities!
Love, peace and hugs!
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Shadowed.”
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Shadowed.”
Wow, I can barely believe the title of this post.
A few months, or even a year ago, I could not have imagined my life as it is today.
The years before I became homeless were not happy ones. My marriage had become more of a “roommate” relationship, and our constant financial struggle filled my days with stress and anxiety. I was so unhappy. But, this post is not about my marriage or my life before homeless. This post is about my life today, a life I had only dreamed about…a happy life.
Being homeless was probably the toughest thing I have ever had to go through, and yet, that is the key right there…going THROUGH, and coming out the other side. I am happier, healthier, stronger..and I feel more loved than ever.
You see… I realized this past year just how many people truly care about me. Old friends, new friends, friends I only know on the other side of this screen. These people have cried with me, rejoiced with me, comforted me with their words, prayers, finances and hugs. I could not possibly express how grateful and humbled I am with this realization. I AM LOVED. Wow.
The beginning of this new year has brought new hope and new joys. My bucket list got a big check mark on January second when I went horseback riding on the beach…a dream I have had forever! (bad photos from a phone)
That day was just beyond awesome. My horse, Dancer, was a little four year old filly and so much fun to ride! I can’t believe I finally got to ride a horse with the ocean lapping at her hooves…the salt air blowing my hair…awesome!
I have met so many new people who have fast become friends…I started going to karaoke again, remembering what it feels like to get up on stage and sing my heart out. It feels as if I have been reborn. Everything is new and exciting.
I am praying to hear about a job by Monday. Please pray, light a candle or whatever you do to send good vibes my way. Having a job, and my own income will be just one more piece of the puzzle in my new life. How cool is all of this? LOL…Yes, I just used an LOL…My face hurts from smiling.
I went to see my Med Doc this week, and he was amazed with how well I am feeling. He cut my meds down, with the goal of my being med free by the end of the year. I am happy about that too.
While most of the country is freezing, it was 63 here today. I stepped out on my balcony to take this shot.
I am blessed…and so incredibly grateful. Thank you Lord!