…but, it can help buy the bricks that will pave the way. In no particular order…
Brick 1: The ability to go back to the dermatologist when you find a “suspect” mole, instead of waiting over a year like you did the first time you found out you had skin cancer.
Brick 2: The ability to buy rugs to put on the ice-cold floors in your un-insulated house, so you don’t go into shock each time you get out of bed, and your feet touch the floor.
Brick 3: The ability to take your dogs to the vet when they should, not when you can.
Brick 4: The ability to not have to choose between food and paying bills, or between buying food for yourself or the dogs..the dogs always get theirs of course.
Brick 5: The ability to take a plane home to see your children and grandchildren sometimes. To be there for you child when she is struggling so badly, and you just want to hold her, help her.
Brick 6: The ability to divorce the man who has made your life miserable for 14 years, and to be able to support yourself if and when you do find the $216 filing fee that is needed to file the divorce papers.
Brick 7: The ability to have days free of worrying how $50 is going to last for a week or more.
Brick 8: The ability to take some classes that might improve your chances of getting a job at 53 years old and you have spent the past 14 years taking care of the man you no longer love, so your resume looks like crap.
Brick 9: The ability to help your friends who are worse off than you are, and to help the animals you see every day that you wish you could rescue.
Brick 10: The ability to buy clothes once in a while..instead of wearing the sweatshirt your sister gave you over 15 years ago, that is now thin enough to read through.
And so many, many more bricks. I hate posting things like this. Money makes people uncomfortable, well it makes some people uncomfortable. For those of us without it….it makes us miserable, cold, hungry, lonely, and helpless.
Please don’t respond with all the “resources” that are available, or any other advice. I know my options, and they are limited. I just needed to get this out of my head. I should be sleeping, but alas, there are a ton of bricks sitting on my shoulders making sleep impossible.
Quiet Desperation 
If only the bricks were under your feet and not on your shoulders. Money has always been a worry in my married life, so I can relate from various points in time. Money can buy serenity and peace of mind, and that would be welcome, I would think. Hugs
LikeLike
hugs đŸ™‚
LikeLike
You’re right Kim having enough money and some to spare is a luxury. It does make life easier. Thanks for your honesty in this post.
LikeLike
Yes, I don’t want a lot, but enough would be nice. Thanks for reading hon…hugs
LikeLike
đŸ˜¦ I will also hope for some type of a miracle or at least more “bricks”. *hugs*
LikeLike
Kim I agree with ya…..**** the people who use the phrase ‘money can’t buy happiness’ flippantly…..its not that I’m looking for money to buy me happiness….I would just like to be a little bit less stressed when it comes to finances…is that too much to ask in life?
LikeLike
My thoughts exactly Kevin…it’s just so difficult to relax and even enjoy a day when I’m worrying about how to buy food etc. I know it will be okay…just needed to vent.
LikeLike
This certainly is a “money” world we live in and when we don’t have it, it (the money monster) seems to reveal itself even more. I hope and pray for a miracle for you Kim and a VERY properous, healthy, and happy 2014!
LikeLike
You are so sweet my dear friend..thank you
LikeLike
hugs đŸ˜¦
LikeLike
Thanks jr..that’s about how I feel. No sleep at all last night. blah
LikeLike
Oh no! No sleep is no fun! Maybe you can catch a nap so you can feel better.
LikeLike
I gave up at 4am, realizing I had to be up by 6 to drive him an hour down to Florida for work…but alas, the boss man called to inform him of a delay. I am becoming exhausted, and still face a two hour round trip drive. sigh…have I mentioned my life sucks? No…I will stay positive..and hopefully alert while driving.
LikeLike
Be careful on the drive. Stay alert! I hope he gets paid good. Maybe some if those bricks can be done away with. *fingers crossed
I like Florida. I haven’t been since early 2013. I had to go to south Alabama for a funeral so I went on down to the gulf for a few days.
LikeLike
He doesn’t get paid well enough, and I hate Florida…I like it here on the coast of Georgia…all the advantages of beach, and warmth, without all the tourism.
LikeLike
Tourism can be a pain. I’ve never been to the GA coast. My bucket list has a trip up the eastern seaboard on it. I’ve been up the west coast from San Diego to Oregon. I didn’t make it to Washington state though.
LikeLike
I have been in every state in the lower 48, and I mean in and or through. We traveled a lot when I was little and I’ve done a few road trips since then. I love it here…tropical most of the year, ten minutes to the beach, and winter is only about 2-3 months. This week will be the coldest temps we’ve had so far. After 45 New England winters, this is heaven for me.
LikeLike
How lucky to have traveled so much. I’ve been in most the states out west but not the north east. I love traveling around seeing things and meeting people.
Winter is like that here. Maybe four months instead of three. I don’t do well in the cold. I don’t think I could live in the north. brrr lol
LikeLike
Kim – I’m not going to tell you that indeed you are in a tough spot – you already know that. I can say I was in a similar situation 35 years ago (could it have been that long). Sometimes it seems like only last week. It was cheaper for me to file for divorce then but I agreed to walk away from everything and I do mean everything. I was the one that had taken assets to the marriage and to get out of the marriage, I finally said, take it. I worked 2 jobs and my full time day job had extra overtime hours that no one else wanted. What happened was that I worked 5 a.m. – 5 p.m. and then had to report in to my night job at 5:30 p.m. and worked until 11:30 p.m. I lived in Monterey, CA at the time (and it was ranked as the 3rd highest cost of living for the US). After I paid my rent and utilities I had $25 left over for the month to feed myself, my cat and dog plus a tank of gas. (Thankfully I had a VW and if I only went to work – I had no energy or time to go anywhere else – 1 tank of gas would last me all month).
I was angry and I think that’s what got me through that horrible time. My bricks were of a different color than yours and I had to jack hammer them and emotionally I was sure the sun would never shine for me – never – ever – again. But it finally did. It took me 5 long years to get divorced and I was living on a string and a prayer. My X didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me either and he didn’t have a need to be divorced. It really was a miserable mess but I finally managed to come out on the other side.
During those long dark years I worked really hard at my full time position and was able to move up the ranks and that helped. It also helped that I had a wonderful boss with a caring wife and she was forever leaving me care packages in my office.
I don’t have advise – I have no idea what might work or not work. What I do know is that I care about you and I want you to have a better life. Please know that I care. Sheri
LikeLike
Thanks Sheri…well, neither of has an “assets”, but I have a hard time holding any job, if I could get one, because of severe anxiety disorder. I don’t know..I need a miracle.
LikeLike
I do sympathise. It’s hard. Although we get some help from the state while my husband looks for work sometimes the bills are high that week and we have to try to feed a family of 4 on very little money. Just a few spare bricks would be wonderful occasionally. Praying things get easier for you.
LikeLike
I wish the same for you.
LikeLike
Kim … I don’t know exactly how you feel, for I never had children (it was our choice). But as to things financial, I have a lot more comprehension. I can only hope like anything that ‘vocalising’ your anxieties provides the outlet you need as you struggle.
LikeLike
Thanks…it helped some. Hugs
LikeLike