Though I know you will never see this, I must find a way to release all I feel in my heart for you…my sweet dogs.
I don’t know why my feelings of loss and pain for you both come on so strongly at night, maybe it’s because my mind is so focused on trying to survive during the day…though, a moment of the day does not pass without you both in it. I wish there was a way to tell you, to make you understand all that has happened to you. I also wish will all of my heart, that I could have found a way to keep you both with me forever…as I promised you when I brought you home. Mommy’s heart hurts with missing you!
My little Cody…You were so tiny the day we brought you home from the backyard breeders. It was Christmas Eve. You were covered with fleas. They looked so big on your little body. You gave us so many smiles on the ride home and every day since then. Even your stubbornness is something I will always admire. That last day we had together you were such a sweet boy, kissing Mama’s tears away.
Casey Anne…When I saw you that day in the kennel of the adoption van, I had no doubt that you would come and join our family. You were shaking and timid. I don’t blame you, you had such a rough start in life. I still can’t understand how anyone could have treated you that way. I hope that I taught you that there is love in the world, and that not all humans are bad. I showed you that you can trust, and that you can have food and hugs….always.
You and Cody became the best of friends on that first day, even though he was a bit pushy.
You are both such amazing babies, and I can only pray every day that we can be together again. But, you see…I don’t have a home right now, not even for me. I know that God knows my heart, and how much I want to come and get you from that cage in the shelter. Every night I dream of them opening that door, and seeing you both run to me and climb on me as we all cry with joy…oh, how I wish I could hold you both right now…I want you here with me, knowing how much I love you and how much I wish that this had not happened to us all. Life isn’t always fair my dear pups, and I hope I gave you enough love while we had time. Be good puppies okay? If I can’t come to get you, I want you to be loved and cared for by some really good family. Casey…show them how you cover your ears when they say you are cute…and Cody, show them how well you sit, and put your blankie in the kennel…Sit nice and no bity…okay guys?
Mommy loves you so much…I hope somehow you know this, and don’t be sad okay? I’m sad enough for all of us. Be happy dogs…someday soon you will go home, you will be outside again, running free, playing and chasing squirrels. I pray it will be with me, but if it is not…just be happy. I love you so much.
I will love you forever.