Benjamin Franklin once wrote in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy, “…nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.”
Now, I love good ole Ben Franklin quotes, but I must disagree with this one. There is one more certainty in life…
No matter how good or bad our lives may be at any given moment in time, change will inevitably come. We can dream, we can plan, and we can build, but nothing is forever.
I am reminded of giving birth the first time.
When I found out I was pregnant at 16 my whole life was turned upside down. I knew nothing, and didn’t know what to expect. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to have my baby, and I wanted to have it naturally. It was the 70s and Lamaze was all the rage. I was determined not to take any drugs to relieve the pain during labor. I wanted to experience the entire process with a clear mind, and control my pain with breathing and meditation.
The day I went into labor was confusing and scary, but I had taken all the Lamaze classes faithfully, and I understood I could control my pain. I had been in labor all morning, and by the time I reached the hospital I was going strong. I had this licked, or so I thought. Transition had begun. Transition is the part of labor when the baby begins moving down the birth canal. Well, without getting into an entire birthing lesson here…let me just say, transition is hell. I mean, that kind of pain is not something you can describe with words, you have to feel it to know. The best part of transition during childbirth is that it means you are almost done. I made it through the entire delivery without any medication, and there was my beautiful baby girl, joy replaced pain. Funny how the pain is forgotten as soon as the joy is there. I went on to have all three of my children this way. Yes, I am somewhat masochistic I guess. My youngest, after trying to go “all natural” with her child turned to me during labor and said, “Mom, now I know you are crazy…you did this more than once?”
Anyway, my point is that the most difficult changes we have to make or that just come about in our lives can be painful, and yet, can bring the best results.
I am going through some difficult changes in my life. I am having to make new choices, accept new ideas, and truly decide what I do and don’t want in my life. This is painful on so many levels, and yet there is anticipation of joy also. I don’t want to get into personal details, because honestly…change is change, and somewhere deep inside I know that I am going to be okay. I am learning so much about who I truly am, and growing to know myself more intimately than I ever have before. This is a time of change, a time of rebirth.
I feel like that scared teenager again. I don’t know what to expect, I am not sure how I will handle it, and I am scared…but, that’s okay. There is a part of me that still “knows” that scared teenage girl, how she has survived so much, and has come out stronger. It’s time for me to trust her again, take her hand and let the change happen. I will breathe through the pain and expect the joy.
It’s only transition.